She Ain’t No Bitch October 1
“Momma! There’s a black lady on TV and she ain’t no maid!”
This is a what a supposedly young Whoopi Goldberg said when she saw Captain Uhura on Star Trek for the first time.
I am looking for the day I can say “Look! There’s a woman on TV and she ain’t no slut, bitch, killjoy-mama, sweet innocent naive victim/plaything*!”
Am I missing other limiting stereotypes? Hmm. Wise-ass granny is coming to mind. Or the blonde laughing bimbo a la Goldie Hawn of Laugh-In.
Growing up was tough. I didn’t aspire to be any of these things. Yech. Yet, there was no mentor, no hero, no footsteps to follow. There were tons of stories of princesses waiting, but none of women doing.
What happened was I didn’t walk forward in my own shoes, along my own path or journey. I walked sideways – skirting. The path forward was too dense, dark and scary. I didn’t know how to do it alone and couldn’t find someone to go with me.
But every so often I found a beam of light through the forest and started walking towards it. Or someone would appear in front of me, and I’d follow as best I could, sometimes running after an apparition that felt so far ahead of me, I was scared I’d lose it.
Societies like to “throw rocks” at those who stray from the norm. I was hurled a few pebbles here and there. I am just grateful I didn’t grow up in a country where this is considered the honourable thing to do.
We are all still pioneers in creating the story of our lives. But now that women are finally allowed to work, have money and bank accounts, a big big change is coming. You think that was an accident that these things were denied us? Absolutely not.
But it’s still hard. At a trip to The Atlantic Film festival just a week ago, Megan Wennberg pitching Crooks and Nannies, her feature about a middle-aged woman trying to change her life was told she was up against 3 big hurdles for feature films:
1. it has a female as the protagonist
2. it has women over 40 as the protagonist
3. It’s a comedy. They don’t translate well internationally.
If the stories we keep telling are all about men for men, how can we not help but feel marginalized?
I dunno.
My answer for the most part is to ignore media and the stories being told by the mainstream. When I look around in “the real world” I see a very different story than that on magazine covers and TV shows. And in the real world, the balance is much better.
When I do partake in popular culture, I try to be very aware of the value system and message in the story. They can “hook” you very quickly, and I am trying to unhook myself.
*If the sweet innocent naive victim/plaything is in a French film, she will harbour a deep psychosis and suffer a total breakdown in the film, usually committing suicide or dying tragically.