the unstitution

Just watched this and it’s a great precis of how cults can suck you in.

But, I also noticed there’s a lot of stuff in here that the so-called “Secret experts” – which as I said before are sales experts – are using to get you to buy their personal development programs.

Here are some choice gems taken from the above film – which uncannily mirror The Secret’s, and a lot of other personal development programs marketing strategies.

To be a successful cult leader you should:

• use deception. Don’t tell them who you really are, lie, leave out important information, or distort information.
• promise to fulfill their dreams. Tell them you have the secrets to self-improvement
• offer them something free. Tell them time is running out – they have to make their decision now
• separate your new recruits and surround them with happy people. Love bomb them
• demonize outsiders – develop an “us vs them” mentality, say the others don’t get it
• tell them the idealogy “answers all questions to all problems.”
• induce guilt. (The Secret says it’s one’s own fault that negative stuff happens – it’s because we are thinking negative thoughts and so we attract that which we think.)
• tell them there is a part of their mind they must eliminate
• make up stories about yourself to boost your importance…but start slowly

That was just half way through the film.

Compare the notes in the movie with some of “marketing techniques” on these landing pages I picked randomly.

Joe Vitale’s Zero Limits program landing page.

Joe called himself a metaphysician in the movie, but he is really a copywriter. He coined one of his marketing techniques Hypnotic Marketing, and you should never forget it when reading his stuff. In fact he makes no secret that he knows how to put you into a hypno-buying trance, dousing his copy liberally with commands like Buy Now, or Go See This.

So “Go Now” to this page and check out the crazy promises Joe makes. “There’s NOTHING like it!”

Mr. Fire as he calls himself is also is an affiliate marketer of this program Simpleology. It better be easier than reading this ridiculously long page.

Free gift here, and more shocking scientific claims and amazing hyperboles here.

I think you get it.

So watch. And think. Especially before “buying it.” And remember the biggest sane-maker is to mix and mingle with as as many diverse people as possible.

Tags: The Secret, marketing, cults, copywriting, buying

Sometimes I am a bit behind on mainstream pop culture, so forgive me that this is a bit late.

The first time I heard the song My Humps was in the Alanis Morrissette “parody.” It sure was memorable, but I really didn’t get it. Didn’t get the song or Alanis’ parody. Parody is supposed to be funny.

Today I saw the original Black Eyed Peas video, and I have to say I still don’t get it.

I mean, is this song for real?

Or is it a parody? If so, what is it a parody of? And why did Alanis parody a parody? WTF? I don’t even know where my hump is? Do I have one or two. Or three?

If it’s not a parody and this song is for real, what planet am I on? Did I just get beamed here from a much brighter galaxy? Come on. Where did this come from? I didn’t even see it coming. What songs are the predecessors? The influences? I haven’t seen or heard anything this bad – on so many levels – in ages.

How did that singer, Fergie, consent to this? Were her brains stolen? Or…I have no other idea why someone would do this.

Who came up with this idea? What other ones do they have? Ouch.

Or – please tell me even the original one is a parody. Just not a very good one. Please direct me to whatever they are making fun of. I love parody – and I want to be in on the joke. I need to know what’s going on. Or I got to get on the next space ship out of here.

Please help me understand

The International Female Value Index drops 300 points for a bad song that’s genre isn’t clear and that promotes an image of women as – um – idiots. Is that what those characters are in the video? Hmm. On closer look I think they are icky, sucky, uneducated, goldigging desperados? Hey, the guys don’t come off any better. Shallow, dumb goofs. Or should I spell that gooph.

IFVI drops another 60 points because the song has had over 5 million views.

And loses another 100 points for the lyrics “Mix your milk with my cocoa puff.” Come on – that can’t be for real!

100 points reclaimed for Alanis trying to parody it, I think.

I thought against placing the videos here, but if we are going to have a discourse, you have to see them.

The original by the Black Eyed Peas.

“What you gonna do wif all that breasts?” Are you kidding me?

Here’s the not outrageous enough to be successful as a parody version of My Humps by Alanis Morrissette.

The huge buzz around the film “The Secret” really bugged me. Had the world gone crazy? Wasn’t this like believing in Magic?

And so I did what I usually do when bugged. I did a whole whack of research. Here’s what I found out about why “The Secret” is so succesful.

The most interesting and telling fact behind the popularity of The Secret is that everyone who is an advocate of the “law of attraction” is selling “The Secret” DVD or book or some other “miracle personal development” program like it.

Most of the so-called experts who appear in the film, like Joe Vitale and James Ray, and James Gray, are also into affiliates sales and/or MLM and network marketing big time. That means they are selling their own or other people’s products through their web sites and other online or offline endeavors. They also sign up their friends to sell for them, who sign up their friends, and so on, offering additional sales commissions based on the sales of people in their networks.

Which means The Secret’s experts are first and foremost sales experts.

Now lucky for them, one thing that seems to be in constant demand is “How To Get Rich” courses, books and products. So here comes big Secret Number 1.

1. Sell a “How To Get Rich” product.

In our conspicuously consumptive society, we are all convinced that it is “things” that will make us happier. So, what we’d like is more money to be able to buy these things.

“The Secret” is popular because it says we can get anything we want. Anything. The universe offers itself up to us like a catalogue – all we have to do is pick. How awesome is that?

What if the movie’s message was “sorry, you can’t always get what you want. In fact, all that wanting is what’s making you unhappy.” Who wants to hear that?

Get the message?

Now the second secret.

2. Tell people it’s easy.

Our aforementioned sales experts know that everyone wants the easy way out. It’s scary to go out on a limb to try new things – going back to school, and paying tuition is expensive, giving up weekends to study or practice is just not fun. Hard work is a hard sell.

That’s why you say something is easy. It’s easy as 1, 2, 3, or it’s easy peasy. In this case, easy as just thinking about it. Wow!

So, when marketing your get rich product, make sure to say it’s easy, even when it’s not. You don’t have to tell the truth about it at all. The book “The One Minute Millionaire” sold millions even though when you read it you’ll soon see that it’s actually quite complicated and takes commitment, energy and time to be a millionaire. Doesn’t matter. One Minute to be a millionaire sounds easier.

Likewise, it takes more than just thinking about what you want in order to recieve it. Sure, the film “The Secret” said that all it takes is thinking, but we know that’s not true. In fact shamefully unapologetic retractions or explanations by our aforementioned “experts” are all over the place. Better yet, why not turn the retractions into products, like The Missing Secret, or a sequel to The Secret - which will – get this – focus on an action plan.

So, since lying about how easy it all is is fine, don’t stop there….

3. Make all the ridiculous claims you want.

That’s right, nobody is checking! So, just like every corner diner claims that it serves the best coffee in the world, you can claim that all it takes to make millions is to listen to a simple CD. Or, watch a series of 8 DVDs that have been especially created by teams of scientific experts, that are worth $3,600.00 but if you buy now you can get them for only $689.00, PLUS you will recieve $1,840.00 worth of free goods. But you better buy now or this offer will never, ever, ever be repeated again. Ever.

See how easy it is? Why it’s addictive – and fun. Here are more things to try:

Try saying things like Newton, Da Vinci, Roosevelt and Einstein all believed in the secret. Don’t offer proof. It’s not necessary!

Call it a “marketing masterpiece.” Say “this is the most advanced and easy to apply success-achieving program in the world today,” then guarantee it. 100%!

Call yourself a metaphysicist, a philosopher, or a doctor. Not grand enough? How about a genius or a visionary? Who’s gonna say no?

Use these three secrets, and you too might find yourself on the path to tremendous wealth and affluence, because the universe wants to bestow you with every wish that you want. But, only if you sell the opportunity of infinite wealth to others. The universe doesn’t like it if you say it is limited. That must hurt its ego.

It also doesn’t matter that “The Secret”s message is all about “Me Me Me” and what “I want I want I want.” You don’t have to think about anyone else – just like a kindergarten-er. Nope, if you want a bicycle, or a necklace, or a monstrous house like the one Jack Canfield boasts about, go for it. Don’t worry about carbon footprinting. Your neighbours or community. Or third world sweat shops. Those people are bringing it on themselves.

All that matters is you “buy it.” And looking at the numbers the book has sold, a lot of people did.

If you haven’t seen the movie yet, here is the unabashedly superficial trailer to “The Secret”. There is no need to watch the movie, as there is no extra information in it.

If you need a primer on why desires create suffering, check out Puppetji vs The Secret.

N.B I said you don’t have to watch the movie…but if you want to make an informed decision, I believe you should always be thorough and check the sources yourself. What I meant by that line is you won’t get that much more info by watching the movie. It’s simplistic and repetitive, and doesn’t go very deep.

Tags: the secret, marketing

I read about this in the news, but watching it is something else.

Mika Brzezinski of MNSBC rips up the leading news story – a story about Paris Hilton getting out of jail with a matching video of Paris looking all pretend-coy-like (yes, that’s an adjective) – in lieu of a real news item.

But what’s best is she doesn’t give up even when against the derisive onslaught by her male colleagues, who don’t even make sense. “Take control of your own life” is the accusation hurled at her by her co-anchor. Ummm…that’s what she is doing. “Why are you being such a journalist?” Are you kidding me? When did you stop?

Then the colleagues who put on their best “why are you worrying your pretty head” style harassing voices and techniques. Yes – I would call it sexual harassment – smelling the paper, tucking it in their pockets. They wouldn’t do this way if it was a guy they they were disagreeing with.

But the proof is in the pudding. Mika shows a style of integrity and courage that has surely been lacking – for – umm – a long time in media and TV land. And the guys look like they are trying to win “Yes Men of the Year” awards. To match the wimp and Super Asshole trophies they must have accumulated along their career climb.

Now, I hate to be mean and normally I try to keep from being vulgar, but these guys are bullying. Anyone see a game of monkey in the middle here? Grade 4 all the way.

And that’s why the International Female Value Index goes up 200 points – because this woman dared to speak up even amidst the pressure of her “teammates.” Plus – when she does, she proves herself sooo much smarter than them.

She has helped pave the way for more smart women talking. Aloud. In front of cameras. And because of that, there is hope for the world.

As for the Yes Men, will someone tell them to please check out the Power of Conformity video? Geez. Get a backbone.

A classical social psychology experiment carried out by S. Asch.

Why do you conform?