Killing Is OK. Kissing Is Evil. June 16
One of the most fascinating things about us humans is that we are able to believe very different things.
The trouble starts when we begin judging our beliefs as moral and immoral, or labeling them right or wrong.
Throughout history cultures have valued or committed acts that when viewed through our current lens, totally horrify us; the sacrificing of humans or children to appease a god or gods; the eating of human flesh in a ritual. Most people today are horrified by these notions, and have no trouble decrying then as vastly immoral.
Today, cultures still have varying beliefs with appropriate codes of proper conduct. And punishment.
I just read a story in The Daily Mail that aptly “horrified” me: a man had his own daughter killed because she caused shame to the family.
The crime? Kissing.
Banaz Mahmod of Birmingham England, a young girl of 20, dared break the code of conduct in her strict Muslim family, and left an arranged marriage for “an unsuitable man.”
For this family, and the people in her community, this is a ghastly crime. It is considered so shameful, that those who dare commit it can be punished by death. A death caused by their own family member.
“On the orders of her 52-year-old father and uncle, Ari Mahmod, 50, she was strangled with a bootlace by Kurdish assassins, her body stuffed in a suitcase and buried six feet down in the garden of a house belonging to an associate in Birmingham.”
“Two of the murderers, who fled back to Iraq after this horrific so-called “honour killing”, have since boasted of raping Banaz before she died in January 2006.”
Today’s International Female Value Index falls 50 points because it is still believed somewhere that a woman defying a man, or her father, is a very bad thing. In this same place killing a female family member is a good thing. Somewhere a man thinks he has brought honour to his family by asking murderers and rapists to kill his young vibrant daughter. Family, friends, and neighbours agree, condone, or watch silently.
But the IFVI also jumps up 100 points, because of Banaz’s sister, who was a key witness at the three-month trial of her father and uncle, which this week resulted in their convictions.
Bekhal Mahmod is believed by British police to be the first female family member ever to give evidence in an “honour killing” trial. Even her own mother and three other sisters refused to cooperate with the police for fear of upsetting the community.
The fear of reprisal is very strong and Bekhal has no contact with her family, for fear she will be found. Plus she does not want to put them at risk from the Kurdish community for associating with her.
Behhal Mahmod is very brave to have differing beliefs from her family, culture and community, and to stand up for them. How many of us can say the same?
Read the full story:
‘Honour killing’ sister breaks her silence