the unstitution

The IFVI (International Female Value Index) has just shot up with this bit of Hollywood news: Jessica Biel hires male strippers for a friend’s baby shower.

Thus proving once again that the one with the money gets to pull the proverbial strings.

“For too long men have been the only ones allowed to summon the “dancing” girls. Now, women can afford to lean back and be entertained too,” said Irene in her head when writing this article.

Equality in sexual exploitation is as good as in any other area. Let’s level the playing field. More money and earning power for women. Everywhere.

Tags: International Female Value Index, feminism, humanism, egalitarianism, dancing, hot bods

Sometimes I am a bit behind on mainstream pop culture, so forgive me that this is a bit late.

The first time I heard the song My Humps was in the Alanis Morrissette “parody.” It sure was memorable, but I really didn’t get it. Didn’t get the song or Alanis’ parody. Parody is supposed to be funny.

Today I saw the original Black Eyed Peas video, and I have to say I still don’t get it.

I mean, is this song for real?

Or is it a parody? If so, what is it a parody of? And why did Alanis parody a parody? WTF? I don’t even know where my hump is? Do I have one or two. Or three?

If it’s not a parody and this song is for real, what planet am I on? Did I just get beamed here from a much brighter galaxy? Come on. Where did this come from? I didn’t even see it coming. What songs are the predecessors? The influences? I haven’t seen or heard anything this bad - on so many levels - in ages.

How did that singer, Fergie, consent to this? Were her brains stolen? Or…I have no other idea why someone would do this.

Who came up with this idea? What other ones do they have? Ouch.

Or - please tell me even the original one is a parody. Just not a very good one. Please direct me to whatever they are making fun of. I love parody - and I want to be in on the joke. I need to know what’s going on. Or I got to get on the next space ship out of here.

Please help me understand

The International Female Value Index drops 300 points for a bad song that’s genre isn’t clear and that promotes an image of women as - um - idiots. Is that what those characters are in the video? Hmm. On closer look I think they are icky, sucky, uneducated, goldigging desperados? Hey, the guys don’t come off any better. Shallow, dumb goofs. Or should I spell that gooph.

IFVI drops another 60 points because the song has had over 5 million views.

And loses another 100 points for the lyrics “Mix your milk with my cocoa puff.” Come on - that can’t be for real!

100 points reclaimed for Alanis trying to parody it, I think.

I thought against placing the videos here, but if we are going to have a discourse, you have to see them.

The original by the Black Eyed Peas.

“What you gonna do wif all that breasts?” Are you kidding me?

Here’s the not outrageous enough to be successful as a parody version of My Humps by Alanis Morrissette.

I read about this in the news, but watching it is something else.

Mika Brzezinski of MNSBC rips up the leading news story - a story about Paris Hilton getting out of jail with a matching video of Paris looking all pretend-coy-like (yes, that’s an adjective) - in lieu of a real news item.

But what’s best is she doesn’t give up even when against the derisive onslaught by her male colleagues, who don’t even make sense. “Take control of your own life” is the accusation hurled at her by her co-anchor. Ummm…that’s what she is doing. “Why are you being such a journalist?” Are you kidding me? When did you stop?

Then the colleagues who put on their best “why are you worrying your pretty head” style harassing voices and techniques. Yes - I would call it sexual harassment - smelling the paper, tucking it in their pockets. They wouldn’t do this way if it was a guy they they were disagreeing with.

But the proof is in the pudding. Mika shows a style of integrity and courage that has surely been lacking - for - umm - a long time in media and TV land. And the guys look like they are trying to win “Yes Men of the Year” awards. To match the wimp and Super Asshole trophies they must have accumulated along their career climb.

Now, I hate to be mean and normally I try to keep from being vulgar, but these guys are bullying. Anyone see a game of monkey in the middle here? Grade 4 all the way.

And that’s why the International Female Value Index goes up 200 points - because this woman dared to speak up even amidst the pressure of her “teammates.” Plus - when she does, she proves herself sooo much smarter than them.

She has helped pave the way for more smart women talking. Aloud. In front of cameras. And because of that, there is hope for the world.

As for the Yes Men, will someone tell them to please check out the Power of Conformity video? Geez. Get a backbone.

One of the most fascinating things about us humans is that we are able to believe very different things.

The trouble starts when we begin judging our beliefs as moral and immoral, or labeling them right or wrong.

Throughout history cultures have valued or committed acts that when viewed through our current lens, totally horrify us; the sacrificing of humans or children to appease a god or gods; the eating of human flesh in a ritual. Most people today are horrified by these notions, and have no trouble decrying then as vastly immoral.

Today, cultures still have varying beliefs with appropriate codes of proper conduct. And punishment.

I just read a story in The Daily Mail that aptly “horrified” me: a man had his own daughter killed because she caused shame to the family.

The crime? Kissing.

Banaz Mahmod of Birmingham England, a young girl of 20, dared break the code of conduct in her strict Muslim family, and left an arranged marriage for “an unsuitable man.”

For this family, and the people in her community, this is a ghastly crime. It is considered so shameful, that those who dare commit it can be punished by death. A death caused by their own family member.

“On the orders of her 52-year-old father and uncle, Ari Mahmod, 50, she was strangled with a bootlace by Kurdish assassins, her body stuffed in a suitcase and buried six feet down in the garden of a house belonging to an associate in Birmingham.”

“Two of the murderers, who fled back to Iraq after this horrific so-called “honour killing”, have since boasted of raping Banaz before she died in January 2006.”

Today’s International Female Value Index falls 50 points because it is still believed somewhere that a woman defying a man, or her father, is a very bad thing. In this same place killing a female family member is a good thing. Somewhere a man thinks he has brought honour to his family by asking murderers and rapists to kill his young vibrant daughter. Family, friends, and neighbours agree, condone, or watch silently.

But the IFVI also jumps up 100 points, because of Banaz’s sister, who was a key witness at the three-month trial of her father and uncle, which this week resulted in their convictions.

Bekhal Mahmod is believed by British police to be the first female family member ever to give evidence in an “honour killing” trial. Even her own mother and three other sisters refused to cooperate with the police for fear of upsetting the community.

The fear of reprisal is very strong and Bekhal has no contact with her family, for fear she will be found. Plus she does not want to put them at risk from the Kurdish community for associating with her.

Behhal Mahmod is very brave to have differing beliefs from her family, culture and community, and to stand up for them. How many of us can say the same?

Read the full story:
‘Honour killing’ sister breaks her silence