the unstitution

Advocacy Group Decries PETA’s Inhumane Treatment Of Women

This is pretty clever. I’d bet most people won’t even get it.

http://img72.imageshack.us/img72/3064/0ekux3808481.jpg

A funny cartoon getting some thumbs up in the Digg World. Does that mean geeks are mostly atheists?

This was written yesterday and is an opening line of an article on MSN Sympatico. Yesterday as in 2008, not 1908.

“To the casual observer, she’s the very embodiment of a lady.”

Dressed demurely in a blushing pink blouse, hands sheathed in dainty white gloves, Aiko – quite possibly Canada’s first android – sits patiently, ready to engage in polite conversation using her 13,000-word vocabulary. She’ll recognize your face, shake how-do-you-do, read you a story, add sums and deliver the current weather.”

They are talking about a robot in the story.

It’s just not the sad creepy Stepford wife allusion. It’s that we – the media – storytellers – culture – parents – keep perpetrating and believing age old stories about how we “should” be and behave.

For example demurely means
1. Modest and reserved in manner or behavior.
2. Affectedly shy, modest, or reserved.

Yeah. Like Paris Hilton, Madonna and Pam Anderson.

Growing up, I railed against this limiting description of how a “real” woman was supposed to act. I was not like that. Most of the women I knew weren’t either – until Grade 6 when we were all hushed, shushed, given the back seat, and beaten into submission.

“You’re not an angry feminist are you?” they accused. The way they said it, there was nothing worse that you could be.

And thus we were kept small, submissive and silent. We were bonsai’d

It’s pretty creepy that men want to screw plastic dolls, and that women like Pamela Anderson and the rest of the Hefner harem want to grow up to be just like them.

Seriously – look at the women in this video. They are using the femmebots as role models and have no problem dressing and looking alike, talking in fake voices and pretending to like turning an old man on. They are trained like poodles in a circus ring.

I don’t like Madonna, her brash bad girl image is just a role she plays to get a reaction and as such, she and her art wear thin, devoid of depth. I prefer authentic, or something close to it – but I’ll take Madonna’s shallow over the femmebots any day.

And don’t tell me it’s not hard to be this fake day in and day out, pretending to be so gaga over old men that you start believing it.

Here’s the
Pam nude video here.

The International Female Value Index falls 500 points because of the poor ratio of old man to women in the video – and because of how they have no problem presenting themselves as silly harmless widgets in his presence.

Aw, this is a cool show. 500 points for the International Female Value Index. A show for girls that’s not about shopping. Or just being cute.

In fact the series opener says, it’s about “Extraordinary people who are changing the world by being themselves.”

By being themselves. It’s amazing how we humans have the capacity to be something other than they are.

But sure enough, as we can see with Cameron, the first guest, she’s got it together. She’s 10 years old, very confident, and very real. And thus way cool.

In fact it’s a bit weird watching Cameron being relaxed and natural in the moment, surrounded by the comedy gals – like host SNL’s Amy Poehler, who are putting on an act – a mask. It sat a bit wrong with me – you can see the kid being confused, wondering if she’s being put on. Hopefully they will get the balance right – because it wasn’t way off. They can bring the girls in to the joke, or hone it in and get more natural and it should be ok.

Big points for a show featuring little girls as the stars for their cool hobbies and interests – and for how different they are from how the media portrays them.

And most of all, for championing smarts. Not sure how that got out of style.

Check out Smart Girls at the Party on On Networks

It’s sponsored by Barbie. He He.

Tags: Smart Girls at the Party, Amy Poehler, kids shows

“Harry Shearer’s Found Objects” presents this clip of beauty pageants chat portion.

I found this video mesmerizing and horrifying. I remember watching pageants on TV as a kid, and distinctly took them as teaching models – this is how we have to be in order to be praised and prized. I remember thinking how hard it must be to walk that way.

From Wikipedia – the breakdown of beauty pageants
“Beauty Queens, or title holders, are chosen on many criteria. Each individual pageant will provide to prospective delegates its particular methods of competition and scoring. For example, The Worldwide Pageant has a unique scoring system wherein delegates have the potential of earning a score of 110%. The breakdown is 25% evening wear (may be pants or gown), 25% athletic wear, 50% personal interview, and an optional 10% for an achievement portfolio.”

It was interesting to note that there was much contempt for beauty pageants right from the start. But much more interesting to see how they have endured. I have no idea why women would want to compete in these pageants. I find them insulting -especially the question part where they judge personality.

The International Female Value Index goes down 50 points because the pageant portion of Sarah Palin’s life has become such a hot topic – although it is interesting to note that make beauty pageants are on the rise since the early part of this decade according to Wikipidea. I am always for equal objectification.

Tags: Sarah Palin, beauty pageants

While 1980 features woman hating Thatcher and Regan, 1981 spawns a subversive feminist hero and socially conscious crusader – Ms. Pacman.

“Ms Pacman quickly overtook her husband to become the best selling game in the world. Featuring a strong female protagonist unafraid to eat constantly, kick ass and look good.”

Ha ha. Love it. Thanks to feministing.com who’s list of 10 depressing anti-feminist videos would have put me in ” I can’t live in this world” funk if it had not been for this bio on Ms. Pacman – my new hero.

Tags: anti-feminism, feministing, ms pacman, feminist hero, very funny video

It is hard. It’s way harder than we thought. It’s not like the books said – happily ever after. It’s not that way at all.

Nope. It is all very hard. But some things are just worth it.

But really. What else are you going to do? Lie around and complain?

Yeah, yeah. Sure – that’s popular. Works for a bit.

Or you could just roll up your sleeves and do it. Hard and all.

Tags: amazing guitar player, armless guitar player

I’ve heard about this for a long time. I’ve istened to complaints about this for a long time. We’ve laughed, the way they do in this video.

But you know – it’s really not fair. Worse, it’s really not nice.

So when is it going to stop? When are we going to make this go away?

Here’s my beef.

We have fables like Beauty and the Beast teaching us that we oughta give the somewhat less-than-hot men a second chance and look beyond the external to see their true beauty within.

That’s nice. The drag is it only goes one way.

The Beast sure is beastly – but he wants a beauty. And whereas his character is treated sympathetically, and we are taught to give them a chance, females in our fables do not get the same treatment.

Remember Cinderella’s sisters? My gosh, even their feet aren’t pretty enough.

Can anyone name one story, fairy tale, or myth where the lead woman isn’t a beautiful princess? And where the less than beautiful aren’t vilified?

Now we have the horrid reality TV series, Average Joe, where once again, Princesses are told that they should kiss the frog.

Where is the opposite story? Where are Princes told to take a closer look at the homely but hard working washer woman, or to go beyond the sour expression of the little match girl to see what lies within?

We need more of these stories like that out there – where women are valued for more than looks. The Paper Bag Princess is a lonely warrior.

And don’t get me started on the lack of merits in Princesses. That’s for another post.

Hey, people, let’s cut Miss South Carolina some slack.

You may have heard or have seen the video of the teen queen flubbing a question at the Miss Teen USA 2007 beauty pageant? You haven’t? Here it is.

Yeah. That was pretty awful.

But really, aren’t we expecting too much from our gal? Sure she was born with perfect cheekbones, legs that go on forever and a button nose (editor; we can’t verify the latter) but the hair colour, white teeth and fake tan – they all come from a bottle.

Look, my point is it’s hard being a beauty queen – you have to do a lot of shopping. And shopping is hard – like math. There are just so many products to choose from.

Plus – our lassie has probably been dieting for the bathing suit portion of the contest, which means purging not eating properly. And we all know that makes it hard to concentrate at school.

Not to mention all the time spent preening, prawning and buffing. Have you tried reading while getting a Brazilian wax job? Can’t be done.

So, expecting beauty queens to be bootylicious AND still be able to hold down a a conversation – come on! There’s just not enough time in the day.

You have to pick and choose your battles, and our girl picked beauty. She made the right choice.

Contrary to popular myth, it’s not what’s on the inside that counts. Nooooo. It’s how much you resemble a blow up doll. Right Pammie? Or how willing you are to give a blow job without asking anything in return. That’s what can make you a star. At least in someone’s eyes. For a minute or two.

Just take a quick look at all the covers on a magazine stand. The only smarts that are valued are the smart cards in mobile phones or other consumer electronics. And we don’t even know how to use those!

Even the supposed intelligent and sensitive boys skip brains and go right to the bimbo. Do you see George Clooney gallivanting about town with Pulitzer prize winners on his arms? No, he picks his chicks from the pole.

The truth is acting dumb and being blonde has been a viable alternative for women for a long time. It can reap rich rewards, fame and even legendary status: Marilyn Monroe, Jayne Mansfield, Anna Nicole Smith, Brigitte Bardot …..

For those unfortunate enough to have been born with some capacity for thought, faking it has always been a viable option. Now I don’t mean orgasms, I mean faking dumbness. It’s pretty easy to do – a breathy voice, childlike demeanors often referred to as kittenish, fingers placed on lips with mouth partially open in the “can’t wait to felate” pose, and best of all, a speech impediment that prevents one from saying the word “no.”

Paris Hilton readily admits to dumbing down for others. And you know what? No one cares she’s faking it. As long as she’s not acting smart, she’s “in” and can command upwards of $200,000 dollars just for showing up at a party. That may not be so dumb after all, and you don’t have to go through all that that boring expensive school stuff.

The lesson? It’s A-ok to be dumb. More than that, it pays to be dumb.

So, don’t you mind them nay-sayers, Miss South Carolina. Sure – you flubbed that answer but big deal. What’s more important is that you stood out – in flagrant Omarosa style.

My bet is that you will soon be invited to participate on a reality TV show, or will be Dancing with the Stars.

And that’s what really counts.

Update: Did you see our Miss Teen USA on the VMA music awards Sunday, Sept. 9? See, I told you so. Dumb gets you everywhere.

Tags: miss teen usa, dumb blondes, paris hilton, miss south carolina, beauty, shallowness